Cent jeux: deux mots

Bonjour, et bienvenue sur mon blog "Cent jeux : deux mots". Il s'agit pour moi d'un exercice (sans jeux de mots, promis!) ...

01/04/2021

I read for you: AH. Hallam Murray: Old time travel (1903)

"Forty-five years ago, the first duty of the British tourist was to visit the field of Waterloo. The impostor who asserted he had stood at Napoleon's elbow was dead, and the worthy Sergeant Cotton had been gathered to his fathers. But there were still plausible rustics doing a good stroke of business as guides who professed to have been spectators of the battle, and doubtless some of them had been skulking within hearing of the cannon. Like the Marchioness in "The Old Curiosity Shop," if you made believe very much, their fluency gave a zest to their feigned reminiscences.

And though the bloody manoeuvring ground had been cut about to build the mound of the Belgian lion, the years had done little to dilapidate the old château and the Flemish farm-house, scorched by flames and riddled with shot. It was good business to preserve these relics, and Hougomont, with its outbuildings and its walled enclosures, was much as it had been when held by the guards, who lay sleeping under the rank growth of fruit bushes and nettles. Since then many another decisive battle has been fought, and Waterloo is ancient history. Then it was still the battle of the century."

AH. Hallam Murray: Old time travel (1903)


20/03/2021

Magyar Auchan, magyarosan !


Pour les expatriés vivant en Hongrie, trouver des produits de son terroir n'a pas toujours été chose facile. Quasi-inexistants avant l'entrée de la Hongrie dans l'UE en 2004, ils sont d'abord apparus dans des boutiques spécialisées 'Delicatessen'. Quelques fromages et charcuteries, quelques conserves. Vendus à prix d'expatriés certes, mais c'était un début. Pour le bon pain, il a fallu attendre.

Les weekends consacrés à tel ou tel pays dans le Grand Marché Central de Budapest ont contribué à faire découvrir d'autres cuisines aux Hongrois, dont la gastronomie reste très traditionnelle. Désormais, la demande est plus forte et l'on trouve facilement des produits étrangers de base à des coûts abordables. Lidl et Aldi, présents dans le centre-ville, organisent régulièrement des semaines de produits français, mais aussi italiens, polonais etc.

Une petite histoire de parking et de marketing

Si en revanche vous cherchez des produits spécifiques, il vous faut aller plus loin et vous rendre chez Auchan. Avec 24 supermarchés en Hongrie, la chaîne française est bien implantée chez les Magyars. Au delà de tous les produits traditionnels, il y a des rayons de produits français et internationaux. Vous n'y trouverez pas tout - mais si ce n'est pas chez Auchan, vous aurez du mal à le trouver ailleurs...

"Magyar Auchan, magyarosan" (Auchan hongrois, à la hongroise)

La grande particularité de Auchan en Hongrie, c'est que la chaîne s'est adaptée au pays qui l'accueille, à commencer par le parking qui touche les Hongrois droit au coeur. Sur le parking, des dessins d'animaux sur des panneaux rappellent aux Hongrois les 'signes' de la maternelle. Car chaque enfant se voit attribué un signe (animal, objet, fleur...), qui est cousu sur tous ses vêtements et qui le suit dans ses premières années, jusqu'à ce qu'il sache lire. 

Se garer chez Auchan, c'est un passage dans Memory Lane

Vous l'avez deviné : ces panneaux servent à vous souvenir où vous êtes garés. L'idée est géniale - qui n'a jamais cherché sa voiture dans un parking de supermarché ? Remplacer une combinaison de chiffres et de lettres (voire rien) par une image d'animal est un jeu d'enfant - même votre pre-schooler sait où est garée la voiture, et s'e souviendra encore après le passage en caisse !

Dedans, c'est comme à la maison

C'est l'heure de chercher vos produits préférés, avec bien plus de choix qu'ailleurs. Outre les traditionnels Camembert et Brie, enfin du chèvre, du fromage à fondue et parfois même du Reblochon. Pour le Hongrois moyen, la viande se résume au porc et aux volailles : cherchez ici de bons morceaux de boeuf. L'étal de fruits de mer ne vaut pas celui d'un supermarché lambda en france, mais c'est un début. Il faut dire que les hongrois les détestent - peut-être parce qu'ils utilisent le même mot pour 'coquillage' et 'cuvette des WC'... 

Des prix à la hongroise

Les rayons surgelés et conserves recèlent de bonnes surprises, mais il vous faudra faire attention aux prix, surtout dans les rayons de produits internationaux dans lesquels on retrouve les prix expatriés. Petit rappel : en théorie 'expatrié' est un statut professionnel. En pratique, beaucoup considèrent que l'expatrié est Caucasien et vient de l'Ouest ; et que les immigrés, ce sont tous les autres (sic). Et en Hongrie, on pratique encore cette bonne guerre de prendre les expatriés pour des vaches à lait.

Il n'y a plus qu'à tout charger dans la voiture, si vous la retrouvez : car c'est une chose de savoir que vous êtes garés près du signe 'lapin', mais une autre de savoir OÙ est le lapin...^^

NB : cet article n'est pas sponsorisé, mais il pourrait l'être. Un jour, quelqu'un du marketing de Auchan m'a confié avoir du mal à trouver un slogan. Il m'a fallu 5 minutes pour pondre "Magyar Auchan, magyarosan". Mais ça ne lui a pas plu. Tant pis pour eux 😎

Ivan Alleaume

14/02/2021

Dieu soit loué !


[☢️ ce post est écrit en frangrois 🇫🇷-🇭🇺]

S'il existait un Messie frangrois, il s'appellerait KÖSZÖN.

Parce que "Köszön t'aime" 💜

Ivan Alleaume
www.valamivan.com

#köszöntem #jesusrevient #loveisallaround

B.U.É.K !

 

[☢️ ce post est écrit en frangrois 🇫🇷-🇭🇺]

Un peu de "frangrois" pour commencer 2021.
Bonne et heureuse année !

Ivan Alleaume
www.valamivan.com

#buék #bonneannée

Use your confinement time wisely

TIME has stopped ! For unemployed entrepreneurs, but also for all the busy and backlog-prone people who sometimes wish that time would just, indeed, stop. Now that it has, what else can you wish for ?

If you and your loved ones are healthy, safe and well-fed ; if you are not working on the front lines of the Coronavirus crisis, then - all things considered - you are among the lucky ones.

Sure, you may be technically unemployed, and no-one really knows if-when business will be back to normal. You are legitimately worried, and you are confined for an indefinite amount or time, maybe like us without a garden or even a balcony. And possibly bored, too (please someone explain this concept to me, though). Under such conditions, it is tempting to bake your time and silhouette away, and to binge-watch on Internet news and TV series, of which there are a-plenty.

But I have a better idea. You see, there is something bad looming ahead, far worse than the boredom of binge-everything itself. Because business will resume one day. And there is one feeling I do not want to have then : "I HAD SO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS, YET SO LITTLE DONE". Sigh.

The extra time we are living now is the only true positive aspect of the Coronavirus crisis, in that we can do something about it ; better use it well ! Why not concentrate on those things we haven't had (or rather taken) the 'time' to do until now, while everything else was going on ? Here's my take on a few such activities, in no particular order :

Update your online content

Catch up with your blog, refresh your online bio, your website, your profile pictures. Unless you have a better plan, start with a simple search for your name and your business on Google. If you can't find it, no-one else will. Make sure people still know who you are when business resumes.

Spring-cleaning

No need to Marie Condo everything, but now is the time to finally deal with those boxes in the attic and dust off the cobwebbed cellar. Sort, give away (donations are more welcome now than ever), clean, repeat.

Sort your red tape

Another fun activity, best achieved on a rainy day. Sort, copy, destroy, scan, whatever needs doing with your paperwork. Update your will if you are a pessimist, and your bucket list if you feel lucky.

Don't forget your computer

Update your databases, sort your files, compile holiday photo abums, exterminate backlog email. Brace yourselves for old DVDs and external drives. Make sense of GDPR, backup your data and update your passwords (cybercriminals also have more time these days).

Renovate and repair

Now is the perfect time to work around the house : tighten the screws on the saucepan handle, replace that faulty light bulb, put some shelves up, repair the old bicycle and finally paint that fence. Don't do anything dangerous though, hospitals have plenty enough on their laps.

Refine your 3-year plan

Or whatever plan makes your business tick. Update your catalogue, hold online meetings with your partners and employees, review your marketing. If you are unemployed because of the Coronavirus crisis, rethink the usefulness of your activity : think more locally and redefine the raison d'être of your business.

This said, don't overdo it. This time should also be used for your own well-being. Once the above activities are well under way, try yourself at these great complementary life pleasures, in reverse order of preference :

Watching the news 24/7

Only kidding, just don't. It's depressing and NOT informative. All you really need to know is : stay at home ; physical rather than social distancing ; keep people and things clean ; the rules in place in your region ; check your sources. A quick check every other day is plenty enough.

Watching TV

Satisfying, but zombie-shaping and time-consuming. Rather than getting stuck in another 5 soap opera series, maybe catch up with best-of-all-time movies. Make the best of it because there won't be new productions for a while - actors and crew are also confined.

Learn a skill or a foreign language

During a family holiday about 20 years ago, I had somehow 'decided' that I would know how to juggle by the time I went home. In the space of a week, I had taught myself how to joggle 3 balls. It's not a big deal, but it only happened because I had finally applied time and effort into it.

What is it that you've always wanted to know ? Whether it's solving the Rubik's cube, car mechanics, knitting, learning a trade, there's never been a better time. Moreover, Internet is full of available material for skills and knowledge.

To learn languages, there are many unemployed teachers ready to teach you on Skype. Voulez-vous ? Many social media users could brush up their own language, too... As the saysing goes, it's the difference between 'knowing your sh*t' and 'knowing you're sh*t' #grammarsaveslives.

Travel the world !

Youtube is your best friend here : watch videos about random places and discover countries, towns and landscapes from faraway lands. For nature lovers, BBC has a great Planet Earth collection. Visit virtual museums. Don't miss out on Budapest - until I can show you around in person :)

One for the community

Finally something useful for all. Save your marriage, bond with your kids or make some more, video-call your friends and loved ones ! To those in need, donate money or some of your time if you can.

Create

Compose a song, build a bridge, paint a nature-morte, whatever floats your boat. Since confinement started, I have already updated my first book (an interactive handbook about Hungary) and written another - albeit short and silly - recipy book. Those few early ticks in the box have helped me build momentum for the other, larger projects at hand.

Keeping the best for last : go offline

If you have a garden, now is the time to tend to it. In our neibourhood, we have seen private gardens appear in places until recently filled with garbage.

When going for a walk or a run, you can kill two birds with one stone if you explore new areas in town AND avoid the crowds. Respect your local confinement and social distancing rules.

Back inside and all clean, the kitchen abviously comes to mind : cook, bake, boil, experiment ! Avoid the take-away trap : cook real recipes in sizeable amounts and freeze some for later.

Stay fit, or at least make an effort to not get unfit. A friend of mine swapped swimming for running - clearly out of necessity, not love - but is having a very decent go at it. Don't let confinement get to your head, either : dress up, keep or make some routines (too many Sundays would kill Sundays).

If you are working from home, why not try the standing office ? It keeps your back straight, your body active, and you even find yoursef more efficient on the computer - because you can feel your legs, innit. What works best for me is to start the day on standing office for administrative work. When I get tired, I sit down and lower the laptop for long-haul tasks such as writing. No need for fancy technology, a box between desk and laptop will do.

Allow for lazy days, weekends still exist. Read a real thick good book, play board or card games, listen to your favorite music, and finally chill, safe in the knowledge that when confinement is over and business starts again, you have been preparing in the best possible way.

NB : If you are still bored after reading this : let that be your biggest problem in life !

Stay safe,

Ivan Alleaume
www.valamivan.com
First published on 15.04.2020

Changing and using money in Hungary

Most visitors to Hungary still expect to find the Euro as currency. After all, the country is part of the EU (since 2004) and Schengen (since 2007). Tough luck, you'll have to use a different currency just like the old days : the Hungarian Forint. And while the country is safe and prices are cheaper than in Western Europe, there are a few traps to avoid if you don't want your money to go to waste.

I will not expand on why a EU country is not using the Euro : the Euro zone, EU countries, EEA countries and the Schengen area are distinct concepts : of the four, Switzerland is only part of Schengen ; Iceland is only part of the EEA and Schengen ; while Montenegro, although only on the EU waiting list, already uses the Euro as their currency. You see, we could be here all day.

I will not expand either on why Hungary is not using the Euro : long story short, Hungary went for it once, then realised it couldn't afford it, now doesn't really want it anymore (for good and bad reasons). Sad, but true.

What does the Hungarian Forint look like ?

The range of notes goes from 20000 to 10000, 5000, 2000, 1000 and 500. Some designs have been replaced by newer ones recently, so if your note is rejected simply swap it for a new one at any local bank.

The range of coins goes from 200 to 100 (conveniently minted like the 2 and 1 Euro coins), 50, 20, 10 and 5. Even though 1 and 2 Forint coins are no longer in service, prices can still end in anything from 0 to 9 : in this case, the sale is rounded to the nearest 5, so don't be surprised.

The Hungarian Forint is noted HUF or Ft ; note that prices are also sometimes written as ",-" i.e. 5000,- for example.

You have 4 options : paying in Euros ; changing your Euros into Forints ; withdrawing from an ATM machine ; or paying by card. NB: most of the tips below are valid for all destinations using a different currency than yours.

1. Whatever, they accept Euros

For one, this is only true of some touristic places. Anywhere else, local currency prevails. Secondly, even if your Euros are accepted, the Forint remains the official reference. In other words, accepting your Euros is a service, and giving you change in Euros another, both with a cost : a homemade exchange rate, often 10-20% below official.

In some places (like public toilets), two prices are displayed, one in Euros and another in Forint. Guess what, the one in Euros is more expensive. Whatever, your call.

2. Changing money

Most change offices in Hungary offer a correct rate, with two things to pay attention to:

- whether or not they charge a commission, and how much (if so, usually 0.6%),

- the "buy" and the "sell" amounts : the closer to each other, the better the deal. If they are more than 10 Forint apart, run away - the most striking example is the Budapest airport with a buying rate well below 250 ! Avoid changing money near train stations, and on the street, either ; that's the best way to end up with fake notes, Indonesian rupiahs, or simply to have your money stolen

My favorite change office with invariably good rates is called 'Correct Change', with several offices in Budapest. NB: coins are rarely accepted, and if so exchanged at a fraction of the rate.

3. ATM - the good, the bad and the ugly

The good : withdrawing money abroad saves you from travelling with cash, and provides you directly with local currency. Besides, you are unlikely to be handed fake notes from a ATM, as long as it's connected to a real bank (see 'The ugly' below). Last but not least, exchange rates and operational costs from your bank are nowadays typically acceptable.

The bad : say you need to withdraw 60€. That translates to around 20000 Forint in just one note, which you will have a hard time breaking. Easy solution : withdraw another multiple of 1000 Ft to have small change, e.g. 19000 Ft.

The ugly : in recent years, independant 'Euronet' ATMs have appeared everywhere convenient, offering local currency as well as Euros, which at first sounds just perfect. However, these are (un)famously known to overcharge when withdrawing Forints, and even more when withdrawing Euros (word to the wise: if you're not in the Euro zone, you don't need Euros...). If you do use one, ATM should stand for 'Avoid The Misguidance' ! Read the instructions very carefully because the wording is cunning ; you will be asked in some form or another : "Do you want 'us' to decide the exchange rate (in green) or are you willing to take the 'risk' to let your bank decide it for you (in red) ?". The answer is counter-intuitive : yes, you DO want to take the 'risk' and let your bank use a good exchange rate.

4. Paying by card

If you decide to pay by card, know that charges are normally dictated by your bank, typically at decent rates. However, I have recently seen card terminals in cafés or restaurants asking the same type of cunning question as the Euronet ATMs. The best answer is the same : trust your own bank only.

Most cards are accepted, and contactless payment is mostly everywhere (Hungarians call it "Paypass"), so paying by card is a sound (and safe) option. Some cafés have a terminal on which you can determine the amount of tip to leave, and is generally set by default to 10% (the average service tip in Hungary) or even sometimes at 0%.

It is best to keep a minimum of Hungarian change on you though : some places simply won't accept cards : markets, some cafés, and sometimes modern places you won't believe will only accept cash in 2020.

A few more tips to make your life easier

Keep the exchange rate in mind
Whichever option you choose, knowing the exchange rate helps you check exactly how much you are changing or spending. As of January 2020, one Euro is worth about 330 Forint - an all-time low, which is good news for visitors. As the old joke goes, the difference between one Euro and one Forint is one Euro.... But don't let the maths upset you : it's 3 Euros in 1000 Forint, not that complicated. All prices include VAT, but not the 10% customary tip for services (unless written on the check).

Always check your change
Hungary is a safe place, and common sense is plenty enough to stay out of trouble. One of the major risks for tourists, however, is to be short-changed. One common trick is to give all your change back except for the larger note, hoping you'll just be trustful, accept what you're given and leave. If you do point out he mistake, the final note will come from the other hand with the most believable apology... That's if you're lucky. If the same happens in a night-club, no one speaks English any more. so, let's talk rules :

Rule #1 : break your larger notes as soon as possible, and in an 'official' place : a supermarket or your hotel will do ; you can't expect to pay for a cappuccino with a 20000 Forint note, and taxi drivers never have change no matter where you live...

Rule #2 : always have some change on you, including smaller denomination notes.

Rule #3 : pay with the note immediately superior to the cost of what you're buying. If you do get short-changed, it won't be by much.

Rule #4 : count your change ostensibly. That's how you realise the larger note is missing.

Rule #5 : make sure it's Forint, and not Indonesian Rupiahs - worth 45 times less (some taxi drivers 'accidentally' use that currency, or give you back 200 Forint notes, no longer in circulation).

So what do I take with me on the trip ?
I suggest travelling with a valid card and a few Euros, enough to get by when you arrive. Only bad rates and fraudulent ATMs can be expected at the airport and near train stations, so if you need Forint, change or withdraw the strict minimum to get you to your hotel, and see from there.

Change it back before you leave
Forints are rarely accepted in your home country, sometimes not even at your National Bank, so best to get rid of it before leaving. Give your spare change to the homeless, buy gifts at the airport (duty-free shops accept both Forint and Euro), whichever way to end your trip with a smile.

Bonus tip - valid also at home !

Have you ever ended a trip with loooooads of coins to spare ? That's because you always give a note when paying, and are given the coins as change.

The trick here is to first hand over the correct small change, and then only the larger note (and not the other way round, if you want the cashier to wait). Seeing the correct amount, the cashier will generally accept it, and give you a beautiful note back as change, thus limiting the noise in your pocket.

You're welcome :)

Ivan Alleaume
First published on 18.02.2020

A guide to running on holiday

You're away from home and have decided to go out for that holiday jog, well done ! It's a great way to discover a new place. There's only one thing: you don't KNOW the city, which leads to many questions : which way to go ? how not to get lost ? how to avoid running too much ? And please, if possible, let's rather see interesting and beautiful things along the way !

I've only started running a few years ago, but it didn't take me long to connect running and destinations, i.e. going somewhere to run, or running wherever I go. And over time I have discovered a few tips and tricks which I'm happy to share.

If you go somewhere to run, you can join an official race or a running club, or even join my Morning run with a view in Budapest). You can safely follow (or overtake) everyone, the route has been conveniently traced for you, and you get to meet people. Great.

Forget about timing

If you simply want to run while on holiday, my first piece of advice would be to forget about timing, especially if you run in town. Accept that you won't be as fast or efficient as when you run on your home track. First because you will have to pay attention to traffic, second because you don't want to get lost, and third because you are on holiday, remember, so you might as well allow yourself to stop for pictures.

If you have time and can run forever, take your shoes and go. At some point you'll find your accommodation again. But if you can't (or don't want to) run too much, and if you don't want to finish your 5k... 5 kilometres away from your starting point and walk all the way back, the next tip is for you: preparation.

Chance is when preparation meets opportunity

Before you go for your run, first ask yourself how long you are going for : will it be your usual morning jog, or a longer run, or 10k and we'll see how it goes ? After that, work out what you would like to see - there, Google Maps is your best friend. Study the map to spot interesting landmarks : sea, river, monuments, parks... ; study it long enough to avoid having to look it up during your run. Pick one landmark about half your chosen distance away, and make it one of your goals. Pick a couple more on the way there and back, but leave some of it to chance to allow for surprises.

Endomondo users can look up the "routes" option for ideas, and see where locals usually run. For example, it once taught me that the right bank of the river Avon was impracticable in Bristol, and to plan my run along the left bank.

A wee bit of technology

I am not a high-tech person. Recently, I have acquired the cheapest connected GPS watch, which does exactly what I want from it : record the run while I can play freely with my phone. My phone thus becomes both a camera and an online map during the run, should either need arise.

After the run, I connect watch and phone to 2 applications

- Endomondo, for the running data.
- Relive, which allows me to create cool videos based on my GPS data, Google satellite map and pictures taken during the run.

Enjoy your run !

Ivan Alleaume

www.valamivan.com
First published on 18.02.2020

Make airport arrivals great again


I have seen dozens of airports over the years, but I can't remember one where arriving passengers, past the customs and luggage in tow, are allowed to just dash out into the wild. Except at Budapest Franz Liszt international airport, where chaos awaits in the arrival hall because of a layout I find illogical. So, here's my initial issue with it, followed by my proposed solution.


This is my depiction of the arrival hall in Terminal A, for what it's worth. Besides lines on the floor leading to official taxis and minibus transfer services, passengers entering the hall have no indication of where to look, and have 3 options : a) go straight ahead through the exit for the car park, taxis and public transport, b) turn to authorised waiting area #1, where tour guides and private transfer drivers await individuals and groups, c) turn to authorised waiting area #2, where only individuals (i.e. bearing no name sign) are allowed to wait.
Intelligent-looking security guards defend the area between the two authorised waiting zones as if their lives depended on it, but only if trespassers are holding a sign : the no man's land is nonetheless filled with wandering passengers who have no idea they're in the way, so in reality no one can see a thing.

So if you are a tour guide waiting for a group, it helps if you know at least one passenger. Obviously, in most cases neither party knows what the other looks like, hence the signs, so the next best thing is to have a group leader who will provide crucial information : Is everyone here ? Has someone lost their luggage ? And if they have any experience in travelling with groups, they will make sure that everyone enters the arrival hall at the same time.

Failing that, when the first members of a group spot their name in zone #1, they are told to go around the messy area and wait until everyone else has arrived - lest they too, block the view for their guide and everyone else. How do guides know that the whole group has arrived, and how do they make sure that the first ones are still around when the last ones arrive, is written down in every tour guide's magical book.
A lot of factors are to blame for the chaos : forgetful passengers or otherwise in the way, security personnel too strict or too lenient, passengers for whom the call for a cigarette is more urgent than being found, guides not positionning themselves properly, the understandable push of the airport to sell its taxi and transfer services. I blame the configuration of the hall, and I believe a simple restructuration could make everyone happy - and everything more orderly.



My proposed solution, once again for what it's worth, is to follow the example of every other major airport : have passengers follow a corridor for long enough to see what's on the other side of the rabbit hole before they are allowed to make a turn. Exits #1 and #2 can be used to filter out large groups as well as passengers using official taxi and transfer services, leaving the rest of the happy crowd flowing smoothly into the terminal.

Welcome to Budapest Airport !

Ivan Alleaume
First published on 18.02.2020